Loosing a life long friend and a Link to the past

My very good friend, adviser, and my mother's  best friend died recently.  This has hit me hard.  Betsy Martin was almost 94 years old.  We do not live forever; however, her passing has come as a shock to me.  I have know Betsy ever since I can remember.  She has been as much a piece of my life as any relative.  She was always there to support or to lend a helping hand.  On Graydon Ave. she was a link to all the ties to the past.  I can vision her sitting on our front porch, visiting with my grandmother, Lillie Maude Porter, my Nana. Their heads close together chatting.

Betsy came to Norfolk as a young married from Baltimore. She needed to fit in among the families on Graydon Ave. in Norfolk.  Nana was more than happy to educate her.  I remember her saying, "Now, Nana, how were they related to each other ?"  My grandmother would explain the ins and outs of Norfolk families.  There came a time when Betsy changed roles and was advising Nana of things that were happening in the area.  This was not gossip, but getting relationships straight.

When I had polio, Betsy was there helping to take care of my baby brother so mother could visit me in the hospital.  Whenever help was needed she was there.

I realize that she was my security, an alternate parent, that I could depend upon for good advise.

More importantly to me is the link that we had to a common past.  To Graydon Ave. in the late 1940's through the early 1960's.  The link to my grandparents and the warmth of living in a small part of a larger city that was like living in a small town.  I remember her pushing her son, Bruce in a stroller by our home and having Bruce cry out "meat"...  He loved to have lunch with us on the back eating porch. Nana would make up a large plate with meats, cheeses, and sliced tomatoes, green peppers and onions.  There were baskets with bread and crackers.  Also mayonnaise and mustard.

She provided a link to evenings sitting on my grandparent's wide front porch with neighbors walking out front and visiting with each other.  Without air conditioning, we would all go out on to the front porches after dinner at night to cool off and visit.  This was a time for friends and family to catch up with each other.  The children played out on the side walks or caught lighting bugs in jars with holes punched in the lids, as the adults visited.  This of a time lost in time.  A time of warmth and love and friendships.

 My parents generation are slipping away faster than I care to think about.  My oldest son called to tell me that My ex husband's step sister had died.  Honor MacNamee, was about my mother's age.  She had diabetes ever since she was in her twenties, possibly longer.  We had not been close for years, and I had known that she was elderly now, but I had last know her as a vibrant middle age Mother.