My Mother

The unthinkable has happened, my lovely loving mother died.  I do not think that one is ever prepared for the loss of one's parent.  I lost my father a little over ten years ago, and I still want to seek out his guidance.  I remember as a young married he would call me with advice.  At the time I did not realize that he was trying to set me on the right path in my life.  His advice was always welcomed.  It has helped me through many a hard time.  I miss him still.  But mother, I somehow felt that she would always be here for me as she always had been.  Even with some dementia her essence was there, her unselfish loving and gentle kindness.

Mother suffered from some sort of dementia, but that did not take away who she was. The day she died my daughter in law, Melissa, and I went to the assisted living where she had her room in order to let them know. Everyone who helped mother came to us to tell us how much they thought of her.  She was truly loved by both the staff and the other residents. Everyone who knew her, came to love her.  She was the very best mother and grandmother freely giving of her love.

After my father died my son, Lewis, moved in to live with mother in her home in Irvington.  It was not until she fell one day, while we were at work, and broke her knee cap that I felt it necessary for her to come and live with me.  It was not long after that when Lewis decided to come and be with us in order to help me out.  We knew mother was doing better when she picked up her walker and carried it with her to the bathroom.  Soon after her fall we were able to take a trip to the Brimfield Antique show in July of that year.  Fortunately the weather was not real hot and she was able to walk a lot of the fields.  We even visited Ellen and Jim Parrish in Vermont.  From then on Mother would accompany us to work first at the antique mall and then to our business selling 20th-century designer furniture.  She would engage with the people, who came into our shop.  It was not until a year and a half ago that she stopped being able to do so.  Many of our customers became friends and missed seeing her.  Many asked about her every time they would come into our shop.

Even with mother in assisted living, I have felt the responsibility of her care.  Now I am like a mother with an empty nest.