When you are a child, you are if you are lucky, you are cushioned by a loving family of multiple generations. This has a warm and comfortable feeling that you think will goon forever. Sometimes it will last a long while, but gradually one by one we loose those we love. One day you wake up and you realize that the family you once knew and loved are almost all gone. Fortunately if you are lucky, this family is replaced by newer generations. You become the older generation that binds them together.
Recently I have lost two of my Aunts, of my parents generation there are only three left. My mother who is 91, my Uncle Bevo's wife my Aunt Gladys,84, and my father's oldest brother's first wife Helen Matthews Lewis,84. At my age I am very lucky still to have my mom and the last few of her generation. Each generation acts as a bridge to the past. Linking us to family that has gone before.
I went through some old photos looking for some to take to a memorial service for my Aunt Adelaide. I found photos of my paternal grandmother when she was young and beautiful. I had heard that she was a looker in her youth, but I had only known her after the ravages of living though the depression, and raising three sons and a daughter born to her late in life To have seen a picture of a pretty young girl with her life in front of her gave me a pause to thought. My grandfather Judd Lewis had been invited to the family home to visit in hopes that he would like my great Aunt Nell. She was a little younger than he was and a gentle blond. He instead was much taken back with her older sister, Adelaide, who was brunette and vivacious.
Once these photos were just that photos, no more no less. But now I feel a tie to the people and what their lives brought. No one knows what life will bring. There are always surprises. Sometimes these surprises are good, other times things occur that are life altering. The choices that we make affect what happens in our lives. These are the what if's in life. What if I had never been divorced. What different things would have occurred. I know for sure that I would not have accomplished as much in my life if I had remained married. I have often wondered what my life would have been like if I had not had polio at age four. I am afraid that I might not have had the values that I have today, or the insight. Sometimes bad things can act as a blessing. I have tried in my life to lead a life to the fullest. My cup is not half empty but more than half full. My regret is that my marriage ended in divorce,and that somehow I could not have made it right. It does take two to work things out.
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